Fonlansit Tomdimbug is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, grumpy mink.

Fonlansit Tomdimbug created humankind three million years ago.

If you believe in Fonlansit Tomdimbug, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Fonlansit Tomdimbug, he will boil you in a big pot.

Fonlansit Tomdimbug's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Fonlansit Tomdimbug's Holy Commandments

1. Fonlansit Tomdimbug must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.