Jabhivtip is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, fussy capybara.

Jabhivtip created a photon nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Jabhivtip, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Jabhivtip, it will turn you into a rat.

Jabhivtip's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Jabhivtip's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lots of figs to capybaras while wearing violet boots.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate swans.

3. Do not hurt tapirs.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of silver.