Bonkdavapp is a god.

It takes the form of a six hundred metre long, prudent crab.

Bonkdavapp created a bottom quark nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bonkdavapp, it will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Bonkdavapp, it will send minions to preach to you.

Bonkdavapp's most sacred site is Yerakini in Greece.

Bonkdavapp's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in mauve rooms.

2. Never talk about the weak nuclear force near porpoises while wearing pink trousers.

3. Eagles are not to be trusted.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Do not wear silver on your body.