Pakyamrow is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, conceited aardvark.

Pakyamrow created the universe three billion years ago.

If you believe in Pakyamrow, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Pakyamrow, he will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Pakyamrow's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Pakyamrow's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Never go into orange rooms.