Rotjoport Goflittit Citsogrow is a god.

She takes the form of a four thousand metre long, merciful wolf.

Rotjoport Goflittit Citsogrow created the planet Jupiter eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Rotjoport Goflittit Citsogrow, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Rotjoport Goflittit Citsogrow, she will throw large rocks at you.

Rotjoport Goflittit Citsogrow's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Rotjoport Goflittit Citsogrow's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your neck brown.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate horses.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Never eat gooseberries.