Parkfettarplat is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, sage hedgehog.

Parkfettarplat created the planet Earth four million years ago.

If you believe in Parkfettarplat, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Parkfettarplat, she will turn you into a duck.

Parkfettarplat's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Parkfettarplat's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place in red.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Do not hurt tortoises.

4. Learn five new languages a year.

5. Do not covet oxen.