Lipjenyarl is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, humane toad.

Lipjenyarl created the Large Magellanic Cloud six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Lipjenyarl, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Lipjenyarl, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Lipjenyarl's most sacred site is Miiluranta in Finland.

Lipjenyarl's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about thermodynamics.

2. Lipjenyarl loves frogs, so they must be honoured.

3. You must never eat lemons.

4. Never talk about quantum gravity near great tits while wearing magenta dresses.

5. Do not wear carbon on your body.