Lamgutvon is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, omniscient centipede.

Lamgutvon created the Large Magellanic Cloud two years ago.

If you believe in Lamgutvon, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Lamgutvon, it will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Lamgutvon's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Lamgutvon's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt doves.

2. Retreat if five hamsters approach from the west.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Never mention tapirs.