Abbellcin is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, bad-tempered dove.

Abbellcin created humankind four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Abbellcin, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Abbellcin, he will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Abbellcin's most sacred site is Ringsted in Denmark.

Abbellcin's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Never paint your legs violet.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.