Kinkimrip is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, competent lobster.

Kinkimrip created Africa four million years ago.

If you believe in Kinkimrip, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Kinkimrip, he will turn you into a snail.

Kinkimrip's most sacred site is Questenberg in Germany.

Kinkimrip's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at stars.

2. Never feed figs to snails while wearing boots.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. You must pray to Kinkimrip nine times a day.

5. Do not listen to music.