Talgetvon is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, stupid dog.

Talgetvon created snails seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Talgetvon, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Talgetvon, she will turn you into a duck.

Talgetvon's most sacred site is Diebzig in Germany.

Talgetvon's Holy Commandments

1. Never chant in the presence of shrews.

2. Talgetvon loves whales, so they must be respected.

3. Do not take Talgetvon's name in vain.

4. Always help ants.

5. Never talk about hamsters.