Safcisster is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, humorless wasp.

Safcisster created life three million years ago.

If you believe in Safcisster, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Safcisster, she will turn you into a slug.

Safcisster's most sacred site is Farnetta in Italy.

Safcisster's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Always treat horses with great respect.

3. Put Safcisster first in all things.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Always look after injured capybaras.