Fudbarncem is a god.

It takes the form of a six hundred metre long, loving fox.

Fudbarncem created humankind eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fudbarncem, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Fudbarncem, it will turn you into a giant snail.

Fudbarncem's most sacred site is Snapp in Sweden.

Fudbarncem's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your back gray.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. You must pray to Fudbarncem three times a day.

4. Never think about quantum gravity near mites while wearing white jumpers and balancing five iron spheres on your chest.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.