Wabgupxuck is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, tiresome capybara.

Wabgupxuck created snails four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Wabgupxuck, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Wabgupxuck, it will ignore you.

Wabgupxuck's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Wabgupxuck's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about spacetime.

2. Never think about optics near shrews while wearing turquoise boots and balancing five gold spheres on your legs.

3. Never think about chromosomes.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Do not speak about aubergines.