Natnaksand is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, selfish slug.

Natnaksand created a photon six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Natnaksand, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Natnaksand, he will remove you from existence.

Natnaksand's most sacred site is Sanabo in Egypt.

Natnaksand's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Never think about quantum mechanics near sharks while wearing mauve jumpers and balancing seven copper spheres on your head.

3. Do not eat parsnips.

4. Do not jump in public.

5. Never play with disobedient children.