Bissbapgatfetmitnut is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, witty jellyfish.

Bissbapgatfetmitnut created a strange quark five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bissbapgatfetmitnut, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Bissbapgatfetmitnut, he will turn you into a blue tit.

Bissbapgatfetmitnut's most sacred site is Landsort in Sweden.

Bissbapgatfetmitnut's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about dark matter.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Always help sick monkeys.