Nullbumken is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, duplicitous jaguar.

Nullbumken created the universe five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nullbumken, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Nullbumken, he will cry a lot.

Nullbumken's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Nullbumken's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Never talk about dwarf planets.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Hide if nine foxes approach from the east.