Zenbastkip is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, clever rhinoceros.

Zenbastkip created Africa eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Zenbastkip, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Zenbastkip, it will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Zenbastkip's most sacred site is Panayadikuppam in India.

Zenbastkip's Holy Commandments

1. Always help gulls.

2. Erect a giant tin sculpture of Zenbastkip in the centre of the settlement.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Zenbastkip.

4. Worship no other gods but Zenbastkip.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.