Vinqueegsakwan is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, egotistical rat.

Vinqueegsakwan created dark energy seven million years ago.

If you believe in Vinqueegsakwan, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Vinqueegsakwan, it will turn you into a slug.

Vinqueegsakwan's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Vinqueegsakwan's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if four swans approach from the east.

2. Never write about comets.

3. Never jump near tapirs.

4. Pray towards the west.

5. Vinqueegsakwan loves horses, so they must be respected.