Funbissflag is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, contented cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Funbissflag created a down quark five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Funbissflag, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Funbissflag, she will be very unhappy.

Funbissflag's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Funbissflag's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Funbissflag.

2. Do not shave your chest.

3. Never think about archaea.

4. Never go into pink rooms.

5. Never wear stockings.