Monzenkip is a god.

She takes the form of a slender, compassionate salamander.

Monzenkip created the planet Earth eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Monzenkip, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Monzenkip, she will come to you in dreams.

Monzenkip's most sacred site is Edenryd in Sweden.

Monzenkip's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate swans.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Do not wear purple clothing.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Put Monzenkip first in all things.