Xemkanarf is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, awe-inspiring squid.

Xemkanarf created parasitic wasps seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Xemkanarf, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Xemkanarf, he will turn you into a sparrow.

Xemkanarf's most sacred site is Gohrau in Germany.

Xemkanarf's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention foxes.

2. Never write about stars.

3. Erect a giant zinc sculpture of Xemkanarf in the centre of the settlement.

4. Do not eat pineapples.

5. Do not listen to music.