Cumvonknart is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, stupid lobster.

Cumvonknart created the Andromeda Galaxy four years ago.

If you believe in Cumvonknart, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Cumvonknart, he will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Cumvonknart's most sacred site is Letino in Italy.

Cumvonknart's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant fawn sculpture of Cumvonknart in the centre of the settlement.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Cumvonknart.

4. Run away if four snakes approach from the east.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Cumvonknart.