Nakflabvontan is a god.

She takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, two-faced penguin.

Nakflabvontan created matter two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nakflabvontan, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Nakflabvontan, she will torture you forever.

Nakflabvontan's most sacred site is Denshawai in Egypt.

Nakflabvontan's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into yellow rooms.

2. Always obey Nakflabvontan's priests.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.

5. Never think ill of sick snails.