Yoklarpcub is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, slow shrew.

Yoklarpcub created the planet Saturn eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yoklarpcub, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Yoklarpcub, she will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Yoklarpcub's most sacred site is Esse in Finland.

Yoklarpcub's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Pray towards the west.

3. Do not chant in public.

4. Erect a large gold sculpture of Yoklarpcub on top of all buildings.

5. You must pray to Yoklarpcub three times a day.