Kipkarab is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, idiotic hare.

Kipkarab created dark matter five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kipkarab, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Kipkarab, he will send two she bears to sort you out.

Kipkarab's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Kipkarab's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat pineapples.

2. Kipkarab loves snails, so they must be honoured.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of tin.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Do not dye your hair blue.