Kimsaslib is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, dishonourable scorpion.

Kimsaslib created water nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kimsaslib, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Kimsaslib, he will turn you into a slug.

Kimsaslib's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Kimsaslib's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Never think ill of sick ants.

3. Monkeys are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Never think about thermodynamics.

5. Do not wear nickel on your body.