Pomlanhat is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, unselfish fairy.

Pomlanhat created Asia six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Pomlanhat, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Pomlanhat, he will turn you into a mouse.

Pomlanhat's most sacred site is Morella in Spain.

Pomlanhat's Holy Commandments

1. Put Pomlanhat first in all things.

2. Squirrels are not to be trusted.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

5. Hide from mauve bats for they are unholy.