Yartamarn is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, competent deer.

Yartamarn created a down quark four billion years ago.

If you believe in Yartamarn, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Yartamarn, he will turn you into a puffin.

Yartamarn's most sacred site is Neravy in India.

Yartamarn's Holy Commandments

1. Never run in the presence of porpoises.

2. Never wear white shorts.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Never wear boots.

5. Always obey Yartamarn's priests.