Sagvolmig is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, unselfish salamander.

Sagvolmig created the Sun eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Sagvolmig, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Sagvolmig, he will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Sagvolmig's most sacred site is Syndendro in Greece.

Sagvolmig's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Never write about special relativity.

4. Sagvolmig loves ants, so they must be honoured.

5. Always help squirrels in need.