Jarnkadfem is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, bad-tempered hare.

Jarnkadfem created a Higgs boson seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Jarnkadfem, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Jarnkadfem, he will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Jarnkadfem's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Jarnkadfem's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into magenta rooms.

2. Draw representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Retreat if five gulls approach from the south.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Jarnkadfem loves goats, so they must be honoured.