Vadbasstit is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, deceitful cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Vadbasstit created the solar system nine million years ago.

If you believe in Vadbasstit, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Vadbasstit, he will turn you into a blue tit.

Vadbasstit's most sacred site is Dingcun in China.

Vadbasstit's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Never think about the strong nuclear force.

3. Do not chant in public.

4. Never feed lentils to aardvarks while wearing turquoise hats.

5. Never talk about solid mechanics near mites while wearing yellow coats and balancing five aluminium spheres on your head.