Flyxemtitbum is a god.

It takes the form of a very small, staggering spider.

Flyxemtitbum created a charm quark five million years ago.

If you believe in Flyxemtitbum, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Flyxemtitbum, it will destroy your favourite star.

Flyxemtitbum's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Flyxemtitbum's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your legs blue.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Retreat if nine monkeys approach from the east.

4. Do not take Flyxemtitbum's name in vain.

5. Do not drink alcohol.