Gesshabdun is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, compassionate coyote.

Gesshabdun created the Small Magellanic Cloud seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gesshabdun, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Gesshabdun, he will ignore you and hope you go away.

Gesshabdun's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Gesshabdun's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about grapes.

2. Never write about black holes.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Never write about optics.