Vabrutfom is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, benevolent sheep.

Vabrutfom created the solar system four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vabrutfom, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Vabrutfom, it will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Vabrutfom's most sacred site is Dommerby in Denmark.

Vabrutfom's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed grapes to moths while wearing mauve stockings.

2. Draw representations of asteroids on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Never write about special relativity.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate birds.

5. Never sing in the presence of bats.