Nurtnutleg is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, intelligent centaur.

Nurtnutleg created humanity five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nurtnutleg, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Nurtnutleg, she will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Nurtnutleg's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Nurtnutleg's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Always help sick monkeys.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Never go into magenta rooms.

5. Never talk about dark matter near mites while wearing gray hats.