Gedwabpin is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, blissful dugong.

Gedwabpin created water five million years ago.

If you believe in Gedwabpin, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Gedwabpin, she will have a low opinion of you.

Gedwabpin's most sacred site is Pontelandolfo in Italy.

Gedwabpin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair mauve.

2. Always help ducks.

3. Erect a giant iron sculpture of Gedwabpin in the centre of the settlement.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Do not commit murder.