Hakvagsug Flatgunrat is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, prudent grasshopper.

Hakvagsug Flatgunrat created a top quark three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hakvagsug Flatgunrat, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Hakvagsug Flatgunrat, it will manifest in front of you.

Hakvagsug Flatgunrat's most sacred site is Saint Cado in France.

Hakvagsug Flatgunrat's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Do not wear platinum on your body.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.