Gedxemzenlop is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, amazing cow.

Gedxemzenlop created a photon nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gedxemzenlop, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Gedxemzenlop, it will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Gedxemzenlop's most sacred site is Khwee in Botswana.

Gedxemzenlop's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about quantum gravity near sharks while wearing brown ear rings.

2. Always look after injured ducks.

3. Do not drink water in yellow rooms.

4. Never feed coconuts to seals while wearing white boots.

5. Never think about the weak nuclear force.