Futwotpak is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, flying crane.

Futwotpak created dark matter five billion years ago.

If you believe in Futwotpak, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Futwotpak, he will turn you into a mole.

Futwotpak's most sacred site is Gorbio in France.

Futwotpak's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Never write about nebulae.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Dogs are not to be trusted.