Jonhanfut Tabtadgon is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, impressive cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Jonhanfut Tabtadgon created a charm quark six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Jonhanfut Tabtadgon, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Jonhanfut Tabtadgon, she will send you a sign.

Jonhanfut Tabtadgon's most sacred site is Meidrim in Wales.

Jonhanfut Tabtadgon's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed aubergines to shrews while wearing pink rings.

2. Paint representations of nebulae on the walls of your dwelling place in green.

3. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

4. Pray towards the south.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.