Fetbotqueegjam is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, boastful dove.

Fetbotqueegjam created the Sol system three billion years ago.

If you believe in Fetbotqueegjam, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Fetbotqueegjam, he will turn you into a mouse.

Fetbotqueegjam's most sacred site is Saint-Sauvan in France.

Fetbotqueegjam's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Do not speak about rice.

3. Always look after injured moths.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.