Tifponbum is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, calm gorilla.

Tifponbum created a Higgs boson three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tifponbum, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Tifponbum, he will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Tifponbum's most sacred site is Randers in Denmark.

Tifponbum's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear rings.

2. Erect a giant aluminium sculpture of Tifponbum in the centre of the settlement.

3. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Run away if nine frogs approach from the west.