Vantaryamgess is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, resourceful wolf.

Vantaryamgess created dark energy four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vantaryamgess, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Vantaryamgess, it will laugh at you.

Vantaryamgess' most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Vantaryamgess' Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in fawn rooms.

2. Never talk about dogs.

3. Put Vantaryamgess first in all things.

4. You must pray to Vantaryamgess four times a day.

5. Never hurt snakes.