Ripnurtvigquam is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, ruthless gnu.

Ripnurtvigquam created matter six billion years ago.

If you believe in Ripnurtvigquam, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Ripnurtvigquam, it will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Ripnurtvigquam's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Ripnurtvigquam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair mauve.

2. Erect seven silicon sculptures of Ripnurtvigquam on top of important buildings.

3. Never feed bread to snakes while wearing kilts.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Ripnurtvigquam loves pigs, so they must be honoured.