Gonstafgem is a god.

It takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, effective naga.

Gonstafgem created life six billion years ago.

If you believe in Gonstafgem, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Gonstafgem, it will ignore you and hope you go away.

Gonstafgem's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Gonstafgem's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Run away if four porpoises approach from the north.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Do not kill snakes.

5. Do not shave your hands.