Jopomtsaf is a god.

It takes the form of a two thousand metre long, omnipotent mouse.

Jopomtsaf created the Black Eye Galaxy nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Jopomtsaf, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Jopomtsaf, it will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Jopomtsaf's most sacred site is Pedraza in Spain.

Jopomtsaf's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

2. Never paint your back violet.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Hide if six mites approach from the north.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.