Vensatmum is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, narcissistic cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Vensatmum created Mount Everest eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vensatmum, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Vensatmum, she will curse you with boils.

Vensatmum's most sacred site is Valdena in Italy.

Vensatmum's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair red.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of platinum.

3. Never think about solid mechanics near gulls while wearing indigo skirts and balancing eight aluminium spheres on your legs.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate sharks.

5. Never go into blue rooms.