Bemcemrull is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, pitiless sheep.

Bemcemrull created Asia nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bemcemrull, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Bemcemrull, it will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Bemcemrull's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Bemcemrull's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear violet jumpers.

2. Do not keep four monkeys in a large pit.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Run away if seven rats approach from the east.

5. Always make sure there are no swans in a building before entering it.