Figzentip Vagflymad Bugbestran is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, fussy hare.

Figzentip Vagflymad Bugbestran created an atom five billion years ago.

If you believe in Figzentip Vagflymad Bugbestran, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Figzentip Vagflymad Bugbestran, he will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Figzentip Vagflymad Bugbestran's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Figzentip Vagflymad Bugbestran's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear yellow clothing.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Never look at dwarf planets.

4. Never wear tights.

5. Never talk about quantum mechanics near geese while wearing violet kilts and balancing nine copper spheres on your feet.